A Joke
So this duck walks into a bar and sits down on the middle stool. The bartender comes over and says, "I wouldn't sit there if I were you --- a big walrus was sitting there, and he still has to deliver his punchline when he gets back from the toilet. "Oh no," laments the duck, "I must be in another one of those awful jokes about being in the wrong joke." But before he can get up, the walrus returns and exclaims, "What's this --- not another duck!! That's it, I want a new joke writer." So the joke writer comes running into the bar and shouts at the walrus, "Hey, this is NOT the way I wrote the joke, OK? The duck's not supposed to be here, and neither am I. Now stop criticizing me unfairly, or this is the last walrus joke I ever write." By this point, the audience is hissing and booing as the actors continue to bicker and never get to the punchline. So the duck, the walrus, the bartender, and the joke writer take out their automatic weapons and obliterate the entire audience. The bloody audience members all mutter with their last breath, "Well, these bit parts aren't glamorous, but they pay the rent." Then the person reading this narration says "I don't think they had to resort to gratuitous violence just because they couldn't come up with a clever ending." So the walrus pats the reader on the shoulder and says, "What do you want for free --- Ruben Bolling?" Then God, who's been watching all this, perks up and says "Wait a minute --- characters in jokes can't be physically present with the joke reader. This isn't the universe I created!" So he takes his big hand and goes "Splat!" over the whole shebang. Then the person writing this silly drivel says, "Whoa, it looks like I've been writing this silly drivel for a while now; I'd better get back to work before the boss catches me." Just then the boss walks into the office and exclaims "Ah ha! Writing silly drivel on MY TIME again, eh? You're fired!!!" Then he reaches over and unplugs the computer, and no one ever gets to enjoy this silly drivel. Then everyone drinks a beer and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Then they all die.
More Random Cruft
from Ken
