And Now the Generic Corporate News Product

A number of people were killed today, some by other people, and others in natural disasters and transportation accidents. Several politicians explained at length today why they are not really full of bullshit. Other politicians fiercely debated the most efficient legislation for shifting more of the wealth to themselves and their corporate sponsors. The economy remains very healthy for huge corporations and affluent investors, despite some pesky demands for fair wages from people who do the actual work. A variety of professional actors and athletes made a lot of money today to keep you preoccupied with irrelevant concerns. The weather tomorrow will be sunny and warm while you sit in an office staring at a computer. And the local zoo received a new big furry animal today. Now just stay in front of the TV and don't try to change anything.
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