The Brave League of Sport Hunting Teams
Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another weekly broadcast of the Brave League of Sport Hunting Teams (BLSHT), coming to you live from the Nationwide Arena for Hunting. This week's game is a close matchup between the Men With Guns and the Animals Without Guns.
Let's see who our expert commentators expect to prevail in today's sporting event. Who are you betting on, Davey? "In my view, the guns give the Men a bit of an edge, so I'm putting my money on the Men With Guns." And how about you, Carl? "I can see Davey's point, but remember that the Animals have legs for running away, sometimes running faster than the Men can. And some of them can even fly up into the sky where the Men cannot even go, which just isn't fair. So I'm going to stick my neck out here and go with the Animals Without Guns.
As gametime rapidly approaches, on the right end of the field we see the Men With Guns lining up and pointing their guns at the Animals Without Guns. On the left end, it looks like the Animals Without Guns were already there, grazing on the grass. But they don't appear to be getting ready for the opening whistle at all! In fact, they look completely disorganized, as if they don't even realize that an important sporting event is about to begin.
Now the referee blows the whistle, and the game is underway. Let the exciting fun begin! The Men With Guns waste no time as they come out bravely firing, and are already surgically implanting animals with smart bullets. The Animals Without Guns seem to be taken by surprise, and some are pathetically collapsing onto the field. The rest are not even trying to put up a fight, instead cowardly running the other way. But it looks like the bullets from the Men With Guns are traveling even faster than the Animals Without Guns can run, and are overtaking the Animals and bringing the remaining ones down. And now with no Animals remaining to play until the end of regulation time, it looks like the Men win by default. So while this was a fair game on a level playing field, it looks like the Animals Without Guns are simply no match for the triumphant Men With Guns, as they proceed to jump up and down and bump into each other's protruding chests.
And now for the obligatory fawning interviews with the heros down on the field. So how can you possibly explain your overwhelming victory today, Man With a Gun? "Well, we worked really hard all week at loading our many guns with ammo. And this is a total team effort; I could never do this alone with just my seventeen guns. And we all believe in each other and never give up, no matter how ferocious the Animals Without Guns become. Plus with God on our side, how could we lose?"
The women in the crowd seem to be much more impressed today than they were with last week's victory of the Gatherers With Legs over the Plants Without Legs. As one female fan said then, "Even though they won easily, all those wimps had to do was to pluck those helpless Plants Without Legs out of the ground. A real man can shoot a bullet that's faster than an animal can run." Yes, I think we can rest assured that some Men With Guns are about to get laid tonight. And no doubt that will lead to Men With Guns slowly but surely replacing these allegedly male Gatherers in the human population, proving once again that shooting and eating animals is Man's manifest destiny.
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